...because there's no place like love.

Hello, and welcome to my blog. I'm so glad you decided to stop by. My name's Angela R Sargenti, AKA The Queen of Short Attention Span Erotica. Got a minute? Then you have time for a quickie.

#ShortAttentionSpanErotica

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Gain the Courage to Submit





Hi, everyone,

Welcome to Spanking Romance Reviews' Round Table Discussion.  Our topic today is "Bringing Spanking into the Relationship."

I'd like to start out by telling you how I brought spanking into my own relationship, and then I'll show you how you can, too.

First of all, I'm not a masochist or anything, but I wanted to try spanking. 

Badly.

I wasn't even sure I'd like it, but I knew I had to try it, that something seemed to be missing without it. 

Somehow, though, the secret brain waves I was beaming to my husband just weren't getting through, so what I finally had to do is put myself on the line and ask for what I wanted.

Now you might think, ‘Big deal,’ but it is a big deal, because I’m basically pretty shy and we never talked about sex when I was growing up, so it’s not something I'm all that comfortable discussing.  I suffered through years of frustration, wishing he'd just read my mind already and do what I wanted done, but you know what?
Most guys aren’t psychic.  You actually have to ask.

And it's hard.  Sure it is.  There's a chance he'll think you’re a total freak, but there's also a chance it’ll work out just fine.
How I handled it is, one night I left him a note to find in the morning.  Since I sleep later than he does, I knew he'd read it alone and have all day to think about it.  I was scared witless and almost got out of bed to tear it up several times, but then I kept reminding myself what an awesome husband he's always been.  I figured I'd go ahead and take the chance, hoping he'd at least be willing to try it without judging me.
 I couched the note in as delicate terms as possible, saying something like, "We should play naughty schoolgirl when you get home tonight."
 What he wrote back is, "Sounds good to me."
 All that fear and worrying for nothing,  It was just that simple, and I'd be willing to bet it would be more or less the same if you brought it up to your significant other.  And if they did treat you like a freak for asking, I would suggest to you that maybe you're not right for each other, which is a whole other discussion, so go on.
Stop being a wuss and ask for what you want, because if you don't ask, the answer will always be no.

19 comments:

  1. what a great way to bring it up Angie, and way more imaginative than my blunt approach. Here's the thing, I bet more significant others would be willing to give it a go than the trembling person asking would believe, as I'd swear we subconsciously seek those who can fulfill our needs even if we haven't shared those needs yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe you're right, Tara, because he really took to it. I guess he's just way more chicken than I am, lol!

      Delete
  2. I'm going to need more details please! Agree with Tara though, great light way to bring it up. You're way smarter than I was about it to be honest! And you're right about the men not being psychic thing…must ask in very specific terms.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember I even had to tell him how hard to smack my butt!

      Delete
  3. A writer leaving a note. Whoda thunk it? Good idea, Angie.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great idea, Angie! I loved it!
    I so agree, that men are kind of dense! LOL, they don't take hints very well.

    Thanks for sharing!!!
    I would like to hear more too! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, we just do it for play, but I must admit I like to play rough. I'll try to write a further post in the future.

      Delete
  5. Inspiring post, Angie, because of course you're quite right: "if you don't ask, the answer will always be no." It can be daunting to come out, difficult to get where you want to be, but that seems to be the way with worthwhile things in life :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I say the same thing to new writers about submitting their work, too.

      Delete
  6. I'm glad you got what you asked for, Angie! Enjoyed your post.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The secret, psychic brainwaves!! When will they pick up on them?? It would make life easier wouldn't it? I love the note you left, really who would say no to that?
    Great post, and great advice!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't get it. It worked on Star Wars: "This is the butt you want to spank." I used the force and everything!

      Delete
  8. I love the note, left for him to find in the morning. Love the post

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've been together forever and I still get shy. Dumb, huh?

      Delete
  9. not at all dumb. I get teased unmercifully by my Master and our teen. You've read my blog :D I talk openly about all sorts of sensitive stuff, I'm totally out on a variety of things. I do BDSM and sex education for pete's sake... but get me around a woman I find attractive and a 13 year old boy does better than me lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. So glad it worked out Angie, coming at this from a slightly different angle, I was the embarrassed husband asking to bring spanking her into our relationship, it took decades and a health scare to finally prompt me into coming straight out with what I had been hinting at for years. We now use spanking as foreplay and I think she is into it although probably not in the same way as I am (Men really are useless at guessing, and I know I should probably ask!) I regret not talking to her about it for so long but I guess the fear of rejection, hurt feeling etc etc are just as real for men as well as woman. Sorry for the ramble but your post brought this all to the surface.

    ReplyDelete

Leave a comment. I promise not to pout.